fever dreams

by flower face

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1.
01:53
2.
04:19
3.
05:10
4.
03:32
5.
04:01
6.
03:33
7.
05:05
8.
9.
04:31

about

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all songs written, recorded and produced by ruby mckinnon aka flower face. recorded at home with endless love and melancholy.
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credits

released April 5, 2016

❀ additional recordings of drums and guitar performed by nathan mcnevin (tracks 2,3,4,9)
❀ "stranger" produced by ruby mckinnon and joshua kaiser
❀ "jupiter" produced by ruby mckinnon and martin bak
❀ mastered by martin bak at SLR studios

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about

flower face Ontario

18 years old and in love with everything. i write songs.

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Track Name: descent
i'm so scared of airports and being alone
Track Name: virgin
oh, my darling, what a mess you've made of me
the bathtub's full of cherry coke, there's blood between my knees
oh, my darling, what a night i chose to fall
i want to be a little girl, i want to have it all

it doesn't mean a thing to me
it doesn't make me yours
it doesn't make me less of who i used to be
don't mistake, it didn't mean a thing to me
i will not be yours
i will not be less than who i used to be
it doesn't mean a thing to me

you can feel the lightning in the air
come home and find me sleeping on the stairs
you hold my skin so softly, press into my bones
i am the one who found you here when you were alone

it doesn't mean a thing to me
it doesn't make me yours
it doesn't make me less of who i used to be
oh my god, i didn't even feel a thing
it didn't even hurt
it didn't get me closer to the god i want to know
Track Name: raphael
please don't try to change my mind, your struggling makes me weak
they're taking you away from me, you cannot even speak

now my body feels so empty and so cold
they told me "kill what's killing you", but now i'm all alone

i fell in love with a promise, a shell of what you could be
in another life, i will hold you
raphael, don't you cry for me
i will sing to you someday

the world will hold my trial for your sins
never meant to see the sky, never meant to live

god, please promise me that i won't go to hell
they broke into my fragile heart, they've taken raphael

in another time, in another life
maybe i could love you, raphael
there will be no funeral for a boy that no one ever knew
but i'll still kiss your coffin, raphael
Track Name: stranger
something's got my head repeating melodies
something kept me slipping into fever dreams
of writing on the mirror that i cannot read
i woke up to find a stranger sleeping next to me

i know it hurts, i know you try
you know i'd rather live a lie than let you down
you can come around any time you want and i'll be here
if somebody hurts you, if somebody tries
just give me their name, baby, i wanna fight for you
but you won't fight for me

something's got you straying into darker seas
something's got you wandering away from me
love notes on your palms, darling, where have you been?
i fell asleep and saw a stranger pressed against your skin

wake me up and take me home
if you won't hold me then i wanna go
you say i'm crazy when you know i'm right
it's what's keeping you up all night
it's in her eyes, it's in my chest
beating so fucking hard, i feel like i'm gonna die
so i want to know,
if she's got your body who's got your soul?
Track Name: nichole
down in pennsylvania, tired smiles and broken cars
maybe i could meet you there, nichole
drowning in my empathy, the wicked eyes i could not see
stared and stared and shattered all my bones

and you said
"don't forget the reason you are here
your heart could fuel the moonlight with its fever
leave all that you've known down by the water
you're bruised but you're not dying
rest your burning eyes
you're only just a child
put away your knives"

you rose from childhood suffering, an ache inside too deep to reach
but close enough for all the world to feed
the stars were never quite aligned, god was never on your side
but you became a precious burning light

don't let any earthly force defeat you
i won't forget the reasons that i need you
spoke so soft and loved just like a mother
i won't let you down
i'll hold my head up high
i'll be the gun and i'll be the one who points it to the sky

down in pennsylvania, sinking ships and baby shoes
and a love so strong it burns the city down
if i escape what i've been told, if i make it through this year alone
maybe i could meet you there, nichole
Track Name: settle down
settle down, won't you take it easy on me?

turn off the radio let's take the long way home

your heart of gold resides in the lines around your eyes
our friends all moved away and left us behind
baby, don't you turn away, i need you on my side
settle down, don't you worry, it's alright

i'd rather set myself on fire than watch you leave
cause when you walk away, i feel like i can't breathe
this feeling's bone deep and it aches like a cavity
oh, i can't settle down when you're not with me
Track Name: nathan
you keep a little piece of the past beneath your skin
spider legs crawling through your cold bloodstream
baby's got a slow pulse, he's hearing static sounds again
he changes like the autumn trees, shiver shaking limbs

you take their words for gospel and leave me in the rain
nathan, don't make me lose my breath again
you built yourself a bed from ashes and string
nathan, don't fill up your lungs with fire again

there's summer in your hazy eyes though the winter steals the air
it feels like i've loved you my whole life cause i see you everywhere
in dreams where i cannot move, i can only stand and stare
your milky skin, my piano hands putting flowers in your hair

i'll drown these nightmares in apathy til i believe that i'm okay
nathan, do you feel powerful when you're pushing me away?
i'll sleep with open windows in case you come back for me someday
nathan keeps me on the run, begging him to stay
nathan holds me to his chest, begging me to stay
Track Name: cigarettes and champagne
cigarettes and champagne
you break through the outside and look right into me
now nothing feels the same
i guess i should have learned this long ago
but i always kept my eyes on the ground
this world just got too loud

we've got friends, we've got places to go
but i can't take my eyes off of you
we've got time, we could take this slow
but i can't keep my hands off of you
no one knows me quite the way you do

cigarettes and champagne
i want to sleep beside you at the end of the world
when there's no one left to get in our way
your cold hand clings to mine, walking home
and your eyelashes catch the snow
you know i love you so

the freckles on your shoulders and this burning in my eyes
when i just can't find the right words to say
all these blurry eyed mornings and confessions in the night
i love the way you keep me awake

we've got friends, we've got places to go
but i can't take my eyes off of you
we've got time, we could take this slow
but i can't keep my hands off of you
no one knows me quite the way you do
no one loves me quite the way you do
Track Name: jupiter
overwhelming ecstasy
our bodies move in harmony
always waking breathlessly
from dreams that leave me wanting more of you
these silly games we play
stupid ways to make you stay
my heart's split open on display
and i can't wait another day
to touch your face, to hold you
i just need you by my side tonight

overwhelming ecstasy
your name repeated endlessly
we'll eat ice cream by the movie screens
and make out in the backseat of your car
ripped shirts and perfect throws
til my body overflows
in the summer afterglow
i love you more than you will ever know
but it's alright
i'll just keep it all inside tonight

we can leave right now, never come back home
you're all i need
forget everything that we used to be
take me to another place, fly me up to jupiter
we can run away
but i'll always feel at home with you

overwhelming ecstasy
your skin is like a melody
your heartbeat brings me to my knees
just begging for a chance to simply
taste the moonlight on your lips
the fever sings, the honey drips
curtains closed, the record skips
no one has ever loved like this
i'm certain, it must be holy
to feel something so pure

overwhelming ecstasy
twisted in your entropy
clinging to you desperately
and i can taste the sweetness of your breath
the stars are screaming loud
the world outside is breaking down
burning cities, whispered vows
and i can feel you all around me
nothing feels the same
nothing feels quite like you

we can leave right now, never come back home
you're all i need
forget everything that we used to be
take me to another place, fly me up to jupiter
we can run away
but i'll always feel at home with you

and if you run, i'm right behind you,
we'll make it out
nothing left between us but light and sound
take me into outer space, fly me up to jupiter
i'm yours forever
and i'll always be at home with you