morphine dreams

by flower face

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about

last summer, i was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. i spent the second half of 2015 in and out of the hospital for surgery and week-long chemotherapy treatments. through the haze that chemo created in my brain, i was barely able to leave my bed, let alone write a song. but i wrote this one. this song is the one piece of writing that i was able to create throughout this experience, and to this day i am proud of it. it was written long ago but i recorded and produced it this week with my friend joshua kaiser.

i am selling 'morphine dreams' for a minimum donation of 1$. 100% of proceeds will go to the childhood cancer foundation (www.childhoodcancer.ca). i plan to make the donation on my birthday, march 10th.

i am so immensely appreciative of all of you. every person who has listened to my songs, bought my albums, watched my music videos, sent me kind messages and come out to my shows. you are all truly the greatest fans/friends i could hope to have. the future holds nothing but beautiful things, and i cannot wait to share them with you.

endless love,
flower face.

lyrics

i haven't slept at all
dreaming of july and june and pressed against the wall
these pills make me feel dead
vacant eyes and distant voices, my words come out all wrong

keeping me doped up
tearing me open on that freezing sterile floor
invading my body
drawing the blood til i don't feel a thing at all

i'm tired of these strangers in my veins
handprints on my lungs
break my tired bones and let me breathe
if i don't make it back home
you'll find me at the window, wide-eyed
kiss me one more time before i go
and then don't let me go
don't let me go

there's poison in my blood
chemicals they feed me slowly, stones beneath my tongue
my life's in plastic cups
living inside funeral daydreams, i hide from everyone

waking in cold sweats
nightmares like memories, they cling to me so tight
shivering and desperate
high on the morphine dreams, they keep me up all night

i'm tired of these strangers in my veins
handprints on my lungs
break my tired bones and let me breathe
if i don't make it back home
you'll find me at the window, wide-eyed
kiss me one more time before i go
and then don't let me go
don't let me go

credits

released December 24, 2016
written and performed by ruby mckinnon
produced by joshua kaiser and ruby mckinnon

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about

flower face Ontario

18 years old and in love with everything. i write songs.

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